I Love Christmas


I have absolutely nothing profound to say on this, the eve of Christmas, but I would like to share some of my Christmas traditions with you in the form of a delightful Christmas Q&A. This was originally supposed to be one of those dreaded memes, but in the spirit of the season, I’ll just answer the questions and leave the tagging to Santa. The Christmas Q&A comes from my favorite Canadian blogger Canucklehead (and please, won’t you check out his Cafe Press items for bacon lovers?)

But first! A BIG thank you goes out to Dan at dcr Blogs for giving me this awesome fruitcake.


As he points out, this fruitcake—much like real fruitcakes—will last forever and can be passed around to friends and family and enemies alike. Dan recommends that you “keep it in a T-shirt soaked in wine” so you can pass it along to your grandchildren. Granchildren! Beware gifts wrapped in wine-soaked T-shirts!

Christmas Q&A
1. Wrapping or gift bags?
My idea of wrapping gifts is to take a jaggedly cut hunk of paper and smoosh it around the gift, twisting the ends like a wrapped piece of hard candy, smothering it in packing tape, and affixing a jaunty bow. So: gift bags.
2. Real or artificial tree?
In the past: real. Now: fake. This year we bought a new tree and there was a lot of swearing when we unpacked the approximately 5,000 pieces. See the various stages of the 2007 tree here.
3. When do you take the tree down?
Considering all the trouble we had getting the tree up, we may never take it down. Dave is considering dragging the still-assembled tree downstairs and keeping it in the basement year-round, but I plan to be out of the country if that happens.
4. Do you like egg nog?
Bleeeeuuuurgh. Does that answer your question?
5. Favorite gift received as a child?
Oh, man! An acoustic guitar! I wanted drums, but my parents wisely opted for something less bang-y.
6. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, but my aunt has one where all the characters are portrayed by cats. Seriously.
7. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
An outdated version of Microsoft Word, copied onto floppy disks and wrapped up like it was new.
8. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail, tho that may change next year. I love Action Cat cards.
9. Favorite Christmas Movie?
“The Snowman.” Watch my favorite part here.
10. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I love to shop—online. I usually wait until the last day Amazon guarantees Christmas delivery with regular shipping rates.
11. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Definitely my mom’s stuffing, made with 6 pounds of butter. Also pie, and lots of it.
12. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear? What is this crazy talk? Colored all the way.
13. Favorite Christmas song(s)?
Please see here.
14. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
We didn’t go through all that trouble putting up a tree to go somewhere else. Our butts are firmly planted at home. Guests are welcome, as long as they don’t mind dust bunnies.
15. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Stuffed monkey.
16. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
Christmas Eve is for cheaters! How can you spend a night of sleepless anticipation if you’ve already opened your prezzies?
17. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
I’ll have to steal from Canucklehead’s answer and say that the ridiculous trend political correctness is getting out of hand. “Holiday Trees” my butt.
18. What do you leave for Santa?
Anything left out for Santa would probably be eaten by Gus, so, sorry, Santa. You’re on your own.
19. Least favourite holiday song?
Maurice Chevalier’s rendition of “Jolly Old St. Nicholas.”
20. Favourite ornament?
For years my brother and I fought over a tiny porcelain bell. Each of us wanted to hang it on the tree. The bell is gone (I KNOW my brother stole it), so my current favorites are the remaining two ornaments that my Aunt Cora made out of actual eggs.
21. Family tradition?
I guess I’d have to say crackers and crowns.
There were originally 25 questions, but, again, in the spirit of giving spirit, I’m only making you read 21.
Happy Holidays, everyone!

I’m Writing a Blog

My mission drive is to open up my eyes.
I don’t care who wants to stare these days.*


I do things. We all do things. Some things are exciting, some mundane, some just plain incomprehensible. Why should I write about what I do? More important, why should you read about what I do? Because, to paraphrase Seinfeld’s  George Costanza, it’s on the Internet. In blog form.

It took me about three days to go from making fun of people’s MySpace blogs (why is everyone whining and ranting into a seemingly uncaring cyberspace?) to downloading WordPress, finding and modifying a theme (3K2 Redux Klein by headsetoptions), registering a domain at bluehost.com, and jumping on the blogwagon.

Write about what you know, they say, and there’s nothing I know better than the things I do. Plus, blogs are ubiquitous. You almost can’t not write a blog these days. In a few years, everyone may be legally required to write a blog. So I figured I’d better get started.

There are blogs about technology, celebrities, food, travel, and blogging. There are blogs that offer a lot of useful information, while others are just funny and fun to read. And then there’s . . . this. Well, with I Do Things, I hope to combine a little of each of these types of blogs by sharing things I do in an entertaining way and providing some helpful and interesting stuff as well. I can’t promise I won’t whine or rant occasionally. And I’ll definitely LOL.

Those same people who say to write about what you know also recommend setting up a blog on your own domain rather than on a hosted site. I decided to shell out the $7 a month for my own domain, but damnit, I Do Things.com (don’t go there, trust me) was already taken. (You went there, didn’t you? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

That left me with I Do Things.biz or I Do Things.info. The .biz suffix didn’t seem quite right, but .info is a decent alternative to .com. After all, you’ll find plenty of info here at I Do Things. True, it’s all info about me, but I hope that reading about things I do will make you think about things you do, things you’d like to do . . . things you’re glad as hell you’ve never done.

Now, you may be expecting to read about some awesome things here: mountain climbing, surviving cancer, pulling bodies from burning buildings. Sorry, bub, I’m just a regular person who does regular things. If you’ve found your way here, you might learn about traveling in New Zealand or what happens when you mix Klonopin and Vicodin. Or maybe you just Googled “nude beach” (folks, it’s called keywords. If you can’t figure out a way to work in “nude,” “sex,” or “drugs,” your blog is doomed (kidding!).

After suggesting the domain name I Do Things Nude, my husband, Dave, worried that I would write about embarrassing personal stuff. “Don’t worry. No one’s gonna read it” (this just after assuring him I’d have thousands of hits in a few days). But please, ignore Dave’s concerns (there will be plenty of embarrassing personal stuff) and read my blog.

It’s on the Internet, after all.

If you want to write a blog

Start here:

  • ProBlogger.com Darren Rowse writes about making money with your blog but also offers plenty of other blog for thought.
  • Copyblogger focuses mainly on blog copywriting, but you’ll find a wide range of topics here, too.
  • Chris Garret on New Media Chris brings his expertise on media and marketing to the world of blog.
  • Lorelle on WordPress provides loads of useful information on the blogging software WordPress as well as other blog-related issues.

I also recommend actual printed-on-paper books, such that might be found on amazon.com, accessed via these helpful and colorful links:

    If you don’t care about your own domain name, set up a blog with one of these free platforms:

Whatever you do, have fun. Write about what you know, what you love, what you want other people to know and love. Or, sit back and let me do all the work. After all, I’m writing a blog so you don’t have to.

* Today’s lyrics are courtesy of The Wonder Stuff